So this is goodbye...

Offline blog: 8 November 2003, 2:21 Am

Actually, got anything in particular to say or write at the moment...
life goes on as it usually is...
dull, mundane, routine...
it's nearing the end of the year and the holiday mood starts to creep in...
speaking about the end of the year...it's time to say goodbye once more...
end of the year, to me, always makes me remember farewells and goodbyes...

we say goodbye to the current year...
I went away to Singapore near the end of the year...
end of the year is also holiday time, time to go back to Indon and say goodbye to singapore and all of its inhabitants...

and it makes me sad...well, kinda...
because with each passing years, we, well at least I, realised the time that I had and have left...
I'm getting old...yes, I know it's kinda funny hearing that from a 19 years old kid...
but, you see...when I was young I always have the feeling that I'm not going to grow up and childhood, then, was where I'm going to be...forever...
well, it kinda sucks when I realised it's not true...but it's okay...growing up has its perks as well...
and then now...I'm on the verge on my teenage years and I'm scared...hell, I'm terrified...
I'm going to say goodbye to my teenage life...see, it's coming back to the goodbye thing...
and being a grown-up scared the shit out of me...
I'm scared that I'm going to change ? that I will then say goodbye to the now me...
and I don't know whether I'm going to like that me rather than the now me...rather confusing eh ?
and what's freakin me out even more...I'm already started to change...

besides saying goodbye to myself...I hate saying goodbye to my friends...
see, friends are very important to me...sometimes my friends are more important than family...some people gonna hate me for that...
and too many times I lost friends without even saying goodbye to them...
and now, I've found good people that I'm comfortable with and I honoured to call my friends...
and will I say goodbye to them as well ?
'cos I don't believe in "we'll stay in touch" bullshit...
if you care for your friends...you won't lose contact with them in the first place...

wait, what's all this rambling all about ?
oh yeah, the goodbye thing...
well, I guess I'm just not a 'goodbye' person...
I hate saying it...
so for me it's not 'goodbye'...
but...
'until we meet again'...