I'm so happy I can eat a tree

it's funny...
one day you're feeling sad because of something and suddenly the same bloody thing is the one that makes you happy...or at least cheers you up...
well, that absurd thing just happened to me yesterday...or rather two days ago...
after torturing me for almost a month, making me think that it has past and gone...
out of nowhere, bam...it's back...
come on, at least knock on the door or something...warn me first...actually, it did warn me, by the sound of Persis...hehe
well, actually I invited it back...I just don't want to lose it again...like I lost the previous ones
and you know why I lost them? because I'm too scared to take the first step...to take the initiative...
No, this one is too precious to let go...far too precious...
so, now it's back...well, I sincerely hope it is...because it's gone too many bloody times...
and I must say, everytime, its quite painful...
I hope it'll stay longer this time...
haha...isn't it funny that I know it'll leave me one day...and it'll hurt...and I still want it badly...
and I know it'll never be like the way I want it to be, but I'm happy enough to have it just the way it is...
maybe I'm just too content...
maybe it's just the way it is...
argh...anyway, I'm too happy now to think about this...pessimist as I can be...

ps: as strange as it may sound...this post does make sense...at least to me...hehe...
pss: the only reason the title is as such is because it rhymes...