What am I thinking ?

I am thinking whether I can pass this exams while I know I already flunked the three that I've already done...
I am thinking when will this finish when I know that it'll be another 6 painfull days...
I am thinking whether I'll be able to study tonight when all I want is to watch tv and play games...
I am thinking why the hell I haven't taken my laundry from the laundry room when I know it's been there since last night...
I am thinking what to eat for dinner when I know that I'm already sick of most of the food here...
I am thinking whether I'm going to just forget the whole thing and talk again with that person when I know that I'm still pissed like hell...
I am thinking whether I should be that sensitive to be hurt by that remark when I know that I'm already hurt...
I am thinking whether I'll ever be more than that when I know that I'll always be just a friend...
I am thinking whether it'll work out like I want it to be when I know that it'll never work out like what I want it to be...
I am thinking whether I'm forgotten when I know most probably I already am...
I am thinking whether I'm going to change my phone when I know money is tight...
I am thinking whether when can I go back to Indon when I know I'll be back on the 5th of December...
I am thinking whether I can survive the whole uni life when I know that most probably I'll burn out far before the end is in sight...
I am thinking whether I can finance my uni life when I know next year will be very hard financially...
I am thinking whether I can get any tuition student next year when I know the chance is slim...
I am thinking whether I should be happy for the two of them or stay out of their lives when I know I care too much for them to excuse myself...
I am thinking whether I can succeed in my studies when I know I won't...
I am thinking whether to burn gilmore girls to cd when I know I don't have the place to keep them...
I am thinking whether to watch soccer tonight when I know I have math paper in the morning...
I am thinking what will I do in indon when I know that I'll probably slack for the whole month...
I am thinking whether I should clean my room when I know that I'm too lazy for that...
I am thiking whether I'll ever touch snow when I know that the closest I'll ever be with snow is when it's on tv...
I am thinking whether I am a good friend when I know many have been hurt by me...
I am thinking whether I'll ever grow up when everytime I realise how childish I am...
I am thinking whether I'll ever be loved when for the last 20 years no one has ever said that to me...
I am thinking whether I'll ever be worth something to someone when I know that I'm worthless...
I am thinking whether my friends know how important they are in my life when I know that almost none care...
I am thinking when will I be able to read another book that I enjoy when I know that time doesn't allow that anymore...
I am thinking whether I am too nice for my own good when I know that nice guy finish last...
I am thinking whether I can change knowing that this is what I'll ever be...
I am thinking whether this is what I want to do for the rest of my life when I know that I can't convince myself that it is...
I am thinking whether is there anything else that I'm thinking when I know there's a lot more up there...
I am thinking of...you...